Q and A: Interview with Rodney Richards

Rodney Richards is a brilliant author of books about science for elementary school-aged children. Among his many works is his most famous book, Hidden on a Prairie, a book about prairie life. The thirty-two year old claims to have written it in only two months, with absolutely no research. The quality of the writing is unbelievably excellent, and has won him a place in every child's heart.
He has taken time out of his busy schedule for an interview. I would like to welcome Rodney Richards; thank you for joining us today!

Richards: Yeah, yeah. That's okay. I was just dropping by.

Tell us, Rodney, what does it feel like to be big and popular? How do you feel about being a hero to all those school teachers and parents out there?

Richards: Well, it's an okay life. I do pride myself on my large audiences. But you know, life as a movie star isn't as great as being out on the prairie, feeling the nice cold wind and hearing the swishing branches of the trees. I kind of miss the penguins, too.

Just a moment, I want to ask you about what you just said there. You mentioned being a movie star; did you star in a movie too?

Richards: He, he. almost. National Geography wanted me to stand in for one of their programs on seals, but for some reason, they decided against it.

I see. What's National Geography?

Richards: Everyone knows about them, stupid!

Um, of course. Do you mean National Geographic?

Richards: Same thing.

Right. So what prairie did you write your book on? You said there were trees on it, and most prairies are characterized by their lack of trees.

Richards: I never actually went to a prairie. I figured that one of those place like the rain forest in the Blue Mountains of Australia was good enough, so I wrote the book there. There's nothing so good for an author than to be in the exact place he's writing about. You know?

Yes, quite. Now you did absolutely no research in writing this book?

Richards: None whatever. When I was younger I used to read a lot. By now I have, like, an encyclopedia for a brain, so it was an easy affair to write a book. It's just transferring thoughts onto paper that's the difficult part.

So, you have an encyclopedia brain. If I asked you a question, could you answer it?

Richards: Of course! Fire away.

Okay, what can you tell me about the founding of America?

Richards: Oh, you're getting smart on me! You didn't say it would be history question. Okay, so the founding of America.... The Indians found it first. They sailed over in their motorboats and established the USS Constitution. I think it was an airport of some sort. Then Christopher Columbus came over with some of his men and they set up a Bell of Rights.

A bell? I thought it was the Bill of Rights.

Richards: Well, it certainly cost them a bill to make that bell. I think that's why they had a big fight with the cardinals.

Cardinals? Who were they?

Richards: A type of bird; haven't you ever heard of them? Christopher Columbus and his gang called the birds red coats because the birds looked red.

Yeah. Most cardinals are red.

Richards: I thought you didn't know much about them.

Anyways, what happened next?

Richards: Well, clearly there was a big fight and Columbus won.

Against a flock of birds? Who were upset over a bill?

Richards: You would be upset if your bill was taken away, wouldn't you?

I suppose, if I was a bird. But why did they take the bill away in the first place. I mean -

Richards: You aren't paying attention! It was because the Bell cost so much, remember?

Alright. Enough with history. What can you tell me about math?

Richards: Oh, I'm quite handy with math. It taste good, too, what with the pie and all. It's also good with temperature. There's these sines, you see, that warn you when the temperature is too hot or cold. And if it's really hot, it turns into a tangent, abbreviated, tan.

Indeed? That's, um, useful. Now tell me, where exactly did you learn mathematics?

Richards: Math-a-magnets? What are those? Oh, you must be referring to Polar functions.

Never mind!

Richards: Sorry, I didn't realise polar functions upset you. You must have had a bad experience with them.

Um, yeah, I guess so!

Richards: Well, it has been wonderful to be interviewed by you, but, as I am looking at the time, I see I'll have to go. I've a meeting in five minutes.

Yes, I understand. Any last words you'd like to say?

Richards: Yes. I was positively thrilled to do this interview. Is there a chance we could do another one soon?

I'll have to see. Well, thank you again, Rodney! And to our readers, I highly suggest you read Rodney's book, Hidden on a Prairie, a great book written by a great guy.